Author: stephluster

Finally made my very first Youtube video!! It’s an intro video as to why I left the Tv News business and started blogging. Hope everyone enjoys my first of many videos! 🙂

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with after getting married, is to learn to stop being the “yes” girl to other people. When friends would call, family members, etc. would call I used to always say yes to whatever it is they wanted. Most of the time it was yes to them and no to my husband. I didn’t want to be “that” girl that was always too busy to hang out with her loved ones or friends because she was too busy hanging with her man. Then it got the point where I was saying yes so much that if I said no, there was a problem. All of a sudden it went from “thanks for always being there for me,” to “you’ve changed now that you’re married,” or people would ignore me or not call me anymore. It would tear me apart. I didn’t think that getting married would cause so many of my relationships with other people to change. I didn’t know that putting my marriage first would cause others to flee from my life. Then something happened. I made a decision that as long as my household was taken care of, meaning the relationship I have with my husband and the Lord was put first, then everything else didn’t matter. I needed to stop worrying about things that God was already busy taking care of. I needed to focus on my marriage because being the “yes” girl was causing me to ignore my husbands needs and wants without me even realizing it.

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:25

This is does NOT mean forget your mother and father and ONLY love your spouse. I will always love and honor my mother and father. That’s a bond that will NEVER be broken. However, in this verse God reminds us that when we get married, we become ONE with our husband and I was still acting like we were two different people. I would make decisions about our weekend plans without even consulting with my husband. It was all about what “Stephanie” wanted to do and he just had to go along with it. My husband and I began fighting a lot more and becoming irritated with one another. He would tell me he wanted to spend time with me, but in my mind we spent EVERY DAY together so what was the big deal if I wanted to hang out with my friends? You see that wasn’t a problem at all, it was just that I wasn’t consulting with him and more like telling him these are our weekend plans. Now, you may be looking at this screen like Steph, I was with you until you made it sound like you had to get “permission” from your husband to go out. WRONG. Let me paint it a different way. If my husband were to go make plans every single weekend without me even having a say so, how would that make me feel? If my husband was saying yes to everyone else and their plans, but no to OUR plans, how would that make me feel? Now this doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy spending time with friends or family because him and I both ADORE family time. We both have a very strong bond with our siblings and parents and we’d do anything for them. This just means that we need to learn how to balance it out.

My husband and I had an argument the other night. It went from something small, to something huge. I did what any emotional woman would do. I went off. I told him that we were going to do what I WANTED and not what HE wanted to do and stormed off. I’m not perfect and sometimes I let emotions get the best of me. As I walked off I knew I was wrong instantly, but pride got the best of me. I got in the shower and proceeded to go about my business. My husband wasn’t about to let me storm off and leave it at that. He walked into the bathroom, opened the shower, turned off the shower, and handed me a towel so that we could find a resolution to what just happened. Then a sense of calmness took over after I looked into his eyes and realized how much I hurt him. I’m supposed to be a Godly wife, I’m supposed to be his rib, the one who honors, loves, and respects him. How could I let my emotions get the best of me AGAIN? How could I be so selfish? Want to know why? Because I wasn’t putting US in our plans, I was putting ME in the plans. When you try to go against your husband and let your emotions take over, it never ends well. We both calmed down and both came to the realization that we need a healthy balance. Too much time spent with friends and family or too much time spent with just each other is not healthy. It’s ok to spend time with friends and family and with each other, there just has to be a good balance. But hey, we’ve only been married for almost a year now so everything won’t be perfect. As long as we keep praying and making sure to put our marriage and the Lord first, we’ll be just fine!

For my ladies that are dealing with letting your emotions go once you get married … it’s okay. You’ll mess up and not get things right the first time. You’ll worry about everything else BUT your husband. You’ll get mad at the little things and storm off. Like me, you’re only human at the end of the day. Just as long as you pray and NEVER go to bed angry with your spouse and really learn from your mistakes…you’ll be just fine baby girl!

Love,

Mrs. Luster

A lot of times people will tell me that my marriage is perfect and that they wish they can have a marriage like mine. Well I’m here to tell you that my marriage is FAR from perfect, and you CAN have a blessed marriage. You won’t and shouldn’t have a marriage like mine because your marriage is YOURS, it’s unique and it’s also no ones business but YOU and YOUR husband. You see, that’s what helps keep our marriage healthy, (that and of course the Lord as our foundation), I don’t go running to Facebook and post a nasty status each time my husband and I have a disagreement. I also don’t bash my husband to my friends either. I try to hold my husband’s name up high because we are ONE so if I’m bashing him, I’m bashing myself as well. I’m in complete disbelief each time I see a girl post a status about how pissed off she is at her significant other, how they’re “trifling,” and good for nothing, then two seconds later she’ll be like “aww I love my babe, he’s so sweet.” I’m literally left with a blank stare each time. No one needs to know what’s going on between you and your significant other, especially if you’re married.

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like a decay in his bones” {Proverbs 12:4}

When you talk to others about your marital problems, you’re opening up a door for them to put their opinions out there and tell you what you should do with YOUR marriage. And let’s face it, not all advice is the best advice. You should be getting advice from the one who made marriage, the ONLY one who has the ability to bless your marriage, God. I know ladies, it’s hard sometimes to just keep your emotions in and not go off on your man (I’m still working on this myself.) In addition to praying to God when times get tough, I also strongly believe all married couples should have at least one good person they can have as their mediator when times get really tough. Someone like a pastor, counselor, or maybe even a couple that’s been in the game for a really long time.

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” {Proverbs 12:1)

It’s not easy to bite your tongue and stop yourself from saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment, but imagine how much harder it is if you have your friend’s voice in your head saying “girl if I were you, I wouldn’t put up with that!” or “Girl you have every right to be mad, you better let him know!” This also applies to talking about your spouse with family members. You may think it’s innocent and they only want what’s best for you, but after time they’ll start growing a bitter heart towards your spouse. Imagine if you tell your mom, sister, brother, dad, etc. each time you and your spouse get into an argument. What do you think will happen? I’ll tell you what, you’ll have all these different inputs on how you should handle YOUR marriage and they’ll give him/her the side-eye each time your spouse comes around. So DON’T do it. Remember, your marriage is between YOU and YOUR husband, that’s it. I’ve discussed the topic of submission before and it’s an important one for ladies to understand that in order to have a healthy successful marriage, you MUST submit to your husband’s and they’re supposed to submit themselves to the Lord. If you’re like me, sometimes this goes in one ear and out the other, but when I do submit to my husband and let him lead, there are no arguments. Now, this does NOT, I repeat does NOT mean I don’t have a voice in my marriage or an opinion because anyone who knows me (especially my husband) knows that I’m a very passionate person … it just means I choose and pick my battles, and the ones where I’m trying to lead my household I’ll NEVER win (that is if I want a blessed marriage).

Love,

Mrs. Luster

Ladies, lets’ be totally honest, what exactly are you trying to gain out of posting a picture of your breasts, or butt? Attention? Do you think you’re going to find Mr. Right with that picture? I’ll tell you who you are going to find; you’re going to find Mr. Right Now. Someone that will only look at you for what you’re offering…your body. God is the only one you need to be getting attention from and let me tell you this, he could care less what your breast size is, what your makeup looks like, what color your nails are.

{Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.} 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

Let me be completely honest. I too have taken some sexy photos back in the day. All I could say is “Thank God there wasn’t Instagram back then.” I don’t know who I thought I was, taking sexy pictures with my breast all out in some boy shorts. I’ll tell you what I was seeking; I was seeking confirmation that I was sexy. I would look at music videos and try to imitate the girls in the videos because society told me girls with big breasts and butts were sexy. I even remember wanting a boob job for my 19^th birthday. I was only 19 for crying out loud, still such a child! Michael was totally against it, he said I didn’t need to worry about my breast size and that I was beautiful just the way I was. Aww, I know… but that wasn’t enough for me to change my mind. I still wanted them and went as far as to do my research and try to find a good plastic surgeon in Dallas. I think the only reason why I didn’t end up getting them done was out of fear. Fear that God would punish me for trying to change my body and that something would go terribly wrong during the operation.

These are the kind of pressures that society puts on young women every day. You’re either too fat, too skinny, you’re breast are too small, you’re breast are too big, your skin is too dark, your skin too light…. I mean the list goes on and on. It took me a while to embrace the skin I’m in. My whole life I’ve been told I’m “too skinny” that I need to eat more, oh and my not so favorite quote “What size are you? A double zero?” ouch. That hurt me for years. I remember shopping for a new bathing suit a few summers ago and when I went to the dressing room to try it on, I took one look in the mirror and burst into tears. I saw myself as “too skinny” my breast didn’t fill out the bathing suit top, the bottoms looked a little loose, and I didn’t have a six-pack. This was before Instagram, so I could only imagine the pressures girls are feeling now every time they log on and see some model with killer abs and big boobs and butt rocking a bathing suit. Well I’m here to tell you you’re beautiful! You are wonderfully and beautifully made by God. You don’t need to lose weight or gain weight; you don’t need bigger boobs or smaller boobs. You don’t need to wear certain outfits to feel sexy, because those short shorts and low cut shirt is just attracting one thing. Sex.

{For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.} 1 john 2:16

Some girls want to find their “husband” yet they’re using their body to attract the wrong kind of men and wonder what happened when it didn’t work out. I’ll tell you why it didn’t work out; it didn’t work out because he was attracted to your body and not your mind and for who you really are. It didn’t work out because he wasn’t a Godly man and you weren’t acting like a Godly woman. Let’s be clear here…. a Godly man is NOT I repeat NOT going to date you for your body. Sure anyone wants to be attracted to his or her future spouse, but if you’re showing off all your goods, how can you be taken serious? There were times where Michael would tell me to cover up a bit when we would go out on dates and he felt that I was showing too much skin. I didn’t understand it back then and I thought he was trying to be controlling. Oh how so much has changed. Whenever I put something on, I always ask my husband if it looks appropriate or if I’m showing too much. When he feels I’m revealing a little too much he’ll say, “you’re showing a little too much, I don’t want other men to look at what’s mine.” I actually find that sexy now. I represent him, we’re one and I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. This DOES not mean you have to be a nun ladies. You can be fashionable, yet tasteful at the same time.

So the next time you think about posting a “sexy” picture of yourself showing off your goods, think about how God would respond or how your future God-leading husband would react. You know when you’re showing a bit much. Leave all that sexiness for your future husband, let HIM enjoy it, not the world!

Love,

Mrs. Luster

Celibacy or remaining abstinent until marriage is something that sadly isn’t supported or encouraged in Today’s society. Sex is talked about freely and openly as if everyone across the globe is married and it’s okay. News flash, IT’S. NOT. OKAY. Sex before marriage only leads to destruction.

{Flee from sexual immortality. All other sins people commit are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.} 1 Corinthians 6:18

Ever wondered why you couldn’t get over that person you repeatedly had sex with? It’s because you gave your body to them. During sex, a chemical called “oxytocin” is released which helps bond the relationship. Take a good look at who you just laid in bed and had sex with. Do you see yourself marrying him/her? NO? Then why are you having casual sex with them? Why are you feeding your flesh with things of this world and not with God? Why would you want to give your body to someone who is not your husband or your wife? Do you not value yourself? Are your temptations much bigger than YOU?

Now I’m not saying I’m perfect because by ALL means I’m not. I too fell under the darkness of temptation. It’s something that I’m not proud of, but I too had sex before marriage. I instantly felt bad about it because I knew that wasn’t pleasing to God and it sure wouldn’t be pleasing to my parents. I thought about all the bad that could’ve come out of me having sex before marriage. I thought about getting pregnant, I thought about “what if Michael and I don’t get married and I’ll have to explain to my one day husband that I gave my body to someone else,” I thought about my younger sisters and what example I was leading. It made me sick to my stomach, but sadly those feelings slowly faded away. Want to know why? … Because I was feeding my body with fleshly things. Songs on the radio with lyrics like “Girl I invented sex,” or “your body plus my body.” I would hear songs like this on the radio and it would feed my temptation. I wasn’t strong enough in my faith to say no. That is until my now husband stood up for the both of us and helped feed my body spiritually instead of sexually. Oh how I thank God for placing such a loving and Godly man in my life, one who respected me more than I even knew at the time.

Most of you know that Michael and I started dating in high school. We both had the fear of the Lord in us so we remained abstinent for the first two years of our relationship. Girls all around me talked about them loosing their virginity and glorified how amazing it was to have sex. After sharing their stories they would turn to me and wait for me to tell my amazing sexual encounter and when I would say “Oh Michael and I aren’t having sex, we’re waiting until we get married,” they would instantly bust out laughing. They would say things like “Girl, that’s not going to last. He’s an upperclassmen and a guy at that, I’ll give you guys two more weeks.” I literally cringed every time a girl would say that. I would look at them with such disbelief. I even had one girl ask me everyday we had class together, “so did you have sex yet,” and when I would say no, she would encourage me and tell me what to do. My favorite quote (saying that in the most sarcastic way possible) was when girls would tell me “Virgins don’t exist, you can’t leave high school a virgin.” Sadly it happened, I gave into temptation when Michael went off to college. It was a stupid reasoning but the thought of him being in college and STILL a virgin made me think he was going to leave me for another girl. How lost and pathetic I was. I thought I knew God, but I was so far from it. That’s okay; God has a way of pulling you back in because once Michael and I started having sex, that’s when things went downhill. Things started going very wrong in our relationship. We started fighting more; we acted like we owned each other and we were not married so WE DIDN’T. One sinful thing after another and then the unthinkable happened. We broke up. Not like a 2-week break-up or a couple months, we broke up for a whole year. I was a total mess. I didn’t know what to do with myself. What brought me to my knees the most and just tore me apart was the very thing that tore us apart. Sex. We brought sin into our relationship and everything was out of order. The thought of giving my body to a man that wasn’t my husband and one that from the looks of it wasn’t going to be my husband tore me to pieces. God brought me back though. He brought me through it. I needed that break-up more than ever. I needed to grow closer to God and stop living for the world, but for Him. I still wasn’t perfect, nobody is. The only perfect person was JESUS. That’s it.

After battling for a while, Michael sat me down one day after a date night and said these very words “I don’t think we should have sex anymore.” I thought oh no, here it goes again. We’re breaking up. I stood very quiet. I looked at him and said, “Are you seriously breaking up with me again? He was so confused and quickly said “NO NOT AT ALL, I love you, I know you’re the woman I want to marry one day, which is why I want us to save ourselves.” When I think about that day now I think how did I NOT jump up and down for joy?! How did I NOT break down in tears full of praise?! I’ll tell you why, it’s because I was still battling things of the flesh. Let’s be honest, sin will always be around but we must try our very best to remain focused on the one that truly matters, our God. I remember crying out thinking Michael wasn’t attracted to me, that there had to be another woman. How foolish

Michael was trying to take our relationship to another level, one that was pleasing to God and one that would lead to a healthy marriage one day. I challenged him; we fought about NOT having sex as if we were a married couple. Let me rephrase that, I fought about us not having sex like I was a married woman. When I think about what Michael did for OUR future marriage, it just gives me chills. I love me some him and I want to shout it to the WORLD! Ladies when a man loves you so much that he’s willing to respect your body and feed you spiritually….THAT’S a man. That’s a man that will lead a household the way God intended it to be. Stop laying in bed and giving your body to these little boys who don’t respect you and all they want is your body.

{He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the lord.} Proverbs 18:22

So remember, the next time you want to feed your flesh and have sex outside of marriage remember that leads to STD’S, AIDS, risk of being a single parent which then leads to generational curses, broken hearts and promises, giving your body away, and it sure doesn’t lead to marriage! It’s never too late to become celibate, or to make a vow to remain abstinent, start NOW.

Love,

Mrs. Luster

One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do in your life is forgive.  I’m not talking about forgiving someone for not opening the door for you or not saying thanks if you let them cut you in line. I’m talking about the kind of forgiveness that hurts. The kind where you’ve been cheated on, lied to, humiliated, countless of broken promises, etc. Imagine what this world would be like without the power of forgiveness? Image if Jesus never forgave us for our sins.  Scary to even imagine that right? If Jesus himself forgave you, why can’t you forgive them?

The first step to forgiving someone is letting go. What are you holding on to? Are you afraid of feeling vulnerable or appearing “weak” if you forgive? Is that not what Jesus did for us? Did he not forgive us when we didn’t deserve it?  Did he not forgive all those that did him wrong and didn’t believe while he lay on the cross, battered and bruised? The answer is YES! Remember, you’re not perfect and one day you’ll need someone to forgive you. Nowadays social media makes all of a difference. If you’re mad at someone and you see a post from him or her, without realizing it your heart starts to be bitter. You roll your eyes at their posts and go to their page to see what they’ve been up to, only to become angry. Here’s how to fix that problem … UNFOLLOW them! It’s better to stay away from their posts than to become bitter each time they get online.

The second and most important step to forgiveness is actually forgiving the person! Don’t say you forgive them, but still bring up the past. That refers back to the first step…LET IT GO! It’s easier for a person to not forgive than it is to forgive, but we have to remember that forgiveness comes from our savior. In other words forgiving someone is not about YOU; it’s about being obedient to the Lord and strengthening your faith.  Just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to jump right back into the relationship that you two once had. Take baby steps to get there, and it may never go back to how it was, but that’s okay just as long as you truly forgive them. There are those we can pray for and love from a distance. Trust me, I know how hard it is to fully forgive someone, even when they’ve hurt you more than once.  Don’t let sinconsume your life.

{Bear with each other and forgive one another if you have any grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord Forgave you} Colossians 3:13

Remember, the Lord forgave us, so you should forgive them.

Love,

Mrs. Luster

Submission is something I never really believed in, or really understood I should say until I got married. It’s something I struggled with at the beginning of our marriage and something I still have to remind myself to be a submissive wife.  I was raised by an outspoken Latin mother, and submission did not exist in our household. My father did as my mother said and when she was angry about something, boy oh boy did he hear about it. Anyone that knows me knows I don’t keep my mouth shut. If something needs to be said, I say it and I’m very straightforward about it, especially if it’s something I feel passionate about. But this is not how God intended for marriage to be.

“Wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” {Colossians 3:18-19} A wife is supposed to submit herself to her husband and as her husband submits himself unto the Lord. Now this does not mean that wives are not supposed to have a voice or an opinion, it just means that women are supposed to let their husbands lead their households as it was intended to be. Whenever women try to lead their household, chaos will happen because that’s not how the Lord intended it to be. The next question I might get is, “but what if my husband isn’t spiritual, therefore he’s not leading his household in a spiritual way?” The answer is simple. Pray. Pray to the only man that will make your husband become the man you want him to be. God too wants your husband to be the spiritual leader he can be. Be an example to your husband, get yourself right with God and never stop praying for your husband. God is the only one that can heal a “broken” home.

As some of you may know, I’ve been reading a book called “The Power of A Praying Wife,” and let me tell you how amazing this book is. It has opened my eyes in more ways than I could’ve ever imagined, the first being a submissive wife. I had always prayed for my husband, but this book has showed me things to pray for my husband that I never would have thought of. Ever since I’ve started reading this book I feel as if my marriage has become even better. My husband is a spiritual leader of our household and it’s an honor to be his wife, so why not be the best wife I can be?  The most important part of a marriage isn’t planning a wedding. It’s planning a healthy spiritual future together. So to all my wives and single ladies, it’s never too late to start praying for your husbands and praying for spiritual growth in your marriage. After all, when you get married two becomes one. When he’s off track, you’re off track so get back on track…God’s track.

Love,

Mrs. Luster.

We’d all like to think that we come from a perfect home with no family secrets or family drama, but the truth is just about every one has some sort of family drama or some serious underlying issues. There are two things you can pass down to your kids: Generational curses or generational blessings. Take a dead-beat father for insistence. One who only took part in making a child, but failed to be there for their child’s greatest moments in life guiding them or supporting their biggest decisions…or how about a single mother that brought men in and out of her children’s lives and was more concerned with finding a husband rather than finding stability for her children. You swore you’d never make the same mistakes your father or mother made…yet you find yourself unknowingly in the exact positions as them and before you know it the cycle keeps going leading to a generational curse.

Someone has to put an end to the generational curse, and it can start with you. Don’t make the same mistakes your parents made or family members made. Don’t date that man/woman if they don’t bring out the best for you and inspire you to be a better man/woman just because you don’t want to be alone…that’s how generational curses continue leading to years of suffering and frustration. Make a change; aspire to want to have a healthy home with a God-fearing Husband or Wife. Start planting generational blessings for you, your kids and their future children.

So before you think you’re ready to tie the knot, make sure the person you’re marrying shares your love for the Lord, you’re compatible with, inspires you, respects you, loves you, and most importantly…they’ll help create a generational blessing

Love,

Mrs. Luster

How many times when you’re venting to your girls about what your man, it’s “his” fault you’re mad and the reason things aren’t working out. You slept with him and now he’s not returning your calls and he’s acting like a complete jerk, he curses at you when you two are fighting, he keeps having female “friends” hit up his phone and he tells you it’s nothing and not to worry about it, or how about when you two move in together and it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out and now he’s moving out. STOP, STOP, STOP blaming it all on him. Everything was cool when you two were having sex, everything was okay when you two were spending time together, and everything was fine when you both went apartment hunting together…but now he decided to up and leave one day and now it’s all his fault you’re left broken-hearted right? Wrong. It takes two to tango. So just as much as you think he’s wrong (which he is, I’m not saying all of these are right) you’re just as wrong. A man will only do what you allow him to do. You made that decision to have sex with him and not think about the consequences, there’s a reason why God made sex for marriage (I’ll talk about that in a later blog) and now that he’s treating you different it’s “him.” You made the decision to play house without having a ring on your finger and making that commitment before God, and now it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out.

Ladies we have to value ourselves because if we don’t, what makes you think a man will? The first thing you did wrong was give your all to man that isn’t your husband and expect him to act like one. Now I’m not saying that we can’t treat our boyfriends right and fall in love, but love is patient and love is kind. If he’s pressuring you to have sex…red flag number one. If he curses at you when you two are mad at each other, apologizes, and curses at you again the next time you two argue…he doesn’t respect you and that’s red flag number 2. If he keeps having lady friends hit up his phone and he tries to hide his phone and panics when a text goes off right by you…red flag number 3. Do you see where I’m going here? This man wasn’t the man for you so why give your all to a man like this and then have the nerve to say it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out. You allowed a man to disrespect you, you allowed a man to take your dignity, and you allowed a man to walk all over you. He didn’t deserve your love and you need to move on, let go, and let God. This is not a Godly man and he needs to find his faith and as much as we would like to help him get there, we can’t force it. In the mean time get right with God and let him bless with you an amazing Godly man that you can one day call your husband.

I’m not saying women aren’t allowed to make mistakes. In NO way am I saying I’m perfect, but when girls vent to me about their guy and I hear all the awful things he’s doing and saying to her and she’s allowing it…. it’s hard for me to just blame it all on the guy. You have power over your feelings, don’t let a man that doesn’t deserve your affection get the best of you…because you’ll regret it later.

Love,

Mrs. Luster