Family Business

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A lot of times people will tell me that my marriage is perfect and that they wish they can have a marriage like mine. Well I’m here to tell you that my marriage is FAR from perfect, and you CAN have a blessed marriage. You won’t and shouldn’t have a marriage like mine because your marriage is YOURS, it’s unique and it’s also no ones business but YOU and YOUR husband. You see, that’s what helps keep our marriage healthy, (that and of course the Lord as our foundation), I don’t go running to Facebook and post a nasty status each time my husband and I have a disagreement. I also don’t bash my husband to my friends either. I try to hold my husband’s name up high because we are ONE so if I’m bashing him, I’m bashing myself as well. I’m in complete disbelief each time I see a girl post a status about how pissed off she is at her significant other, how they’re “trifling,” and good for nothing, then two seconds later she’ll be like “aww I love my babe, he’s so sweet.” I’m literally left with a blank stare each time. No one needs to know what’s going on between you and your significant other, especially if you’re married.

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like a decay in his bones” {Proverbs 12:4}

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When you talk to others about your marital problems, you’re opening up a door for them to put their opinions out there and tell you what you should do with YOUR marriage. And let’s face it, not all advice is the best advice. You should be getting advice from the one who made marriage, the ONLY one who has the ability to bless your marriage, God. I know ladies, it’s hard sometimes to just keep your emotions in and not go off on your man (I’m still working on this myself.) In addition to praying to God when times get tough, I also strongly believe all married couples should have at least one good person they can have as their mediator when times get really tough. Someone like a pastor, counselor, or maybe even a couple that’s been in the game for a really long time.

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” {Proverbs 12:1)

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It’s not easy to bite your tongue and stop yourself from saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment, but imagine how much harder it is if you have your friend’s voice in your head saying “girl if I were you, I wouldn’t put up with that!” or “Girl you have every right to be mad, you better let him know!” This also applies to talking about your spouse with family members. You may think it’s innocent and they only want what’s best for you, but after time they’ll start growing a bitter heart towards your spouse. Imagine if you tell your mom, sister, brother, dad, etc. each time you and your spouse get into an argument. What do you think will happen? I’ll tell you what, you’ll have all these different inputs on how you should handle YOUR marriage and they’ll give him/her the side-eye each time your spouse comes around. So DON’T do it. Remember, your marriage is between YOU and YOUR husband, that’s it. I’ve discussed the topic of submission before and it’s an important one for ladies to understand that in order to have a healthy successful marriage, you MUST submit to your husband’s and they’re supposed to submit themselves to the Lord. If you’re like me, sometimes this goes in one ear and out the other, but when I do submit to my husband and let him lead, there are no arguments. Now, this does NOT, I repeat does NOT mean I don’t have a voice in my marriage or an opinion because anyone who knows me (especially my husband) knows that I’m a very passionate person … it just means I choose and pick my battles, and the ones where I’m trying to lead my household I’ll NEVER win (that is if I want a blessed marriage).

Love,

Mrs. Luster

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Modesty

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Ladies, lets’ be totally honest, what exactly are you trying to gain out of posting a picture of your breasts, or butt? Attention? Do you think you’re going to find Mr. Right with that picture? I’ll tell you who you are going to find; you’re going to find Mr. Right Now. Someone that will only look at you for what you’re offering…your body. God is the only one you need to be getting attention from and let me tell you this, he could care less what your breast size is, what your makeup looks like, what color your nails are.

 

{Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.} 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

 

Let me be completely honest. I too have taken some sexy photos back in the day. All I could say is “Thank God there wasn’t Instagram back then.” I don’t know who I thought I was, taking sexy pictures with my breast all out in some boy shorts. I’ll tell you what I was seeking; I was seeking confirmation that I was sexy. I would look at music videos and try to imitate the girls in the videos because society told me girls with big breasts and butts were sexy. I even remember wanting a boob job for my 19th birthday. I was only 19 for crying out loud, still such a child! Michael was totally against it, he said I didn’t need to worry about my breast size and that I was beautiful just the way I was. Aww, I know… but that wasn’t enough for me to change my mind. I still wanted them and went as far as to do my research and try to find a good plastic surgeon in Dallas. I think the only reason why I didn’t end up getting them done was out of fear. Fear that God would punish me for trying to change my body and that something would go terribly wrong during the operation.

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These are the kind of pressures that society puts on young women every day. You’re either too fat, too skinny, you’re breast are too small, you’re breast are too big, your skin is too dark, your skin too light…. I mean the list goes on and on. It took me a while to embrace the skin I’m in. My whole life I’ve been told I’m “too skinny” that I need to eat more, oh and my not so favorite quote “What size are you? A double zero?” ouch. That hurt me for years. I remember shopping for a new bathing suit a few summers ago and when I went to the dressing room to try it on, I took one look in the mirror and burst into tears. I saw myself as “too skinny” my breast didn’t fill out the bathing suit top, the bottoms looked a little loose, and I didn’t have a six-pack. This was before Instagram, so I could only imagine the pressures girls are feeling now every time they log on and see some model with killer abs and big boobs and butt rocking a bathing suit. Well I’m here to tell you you’re beautiful! You are wonderfully and beautifully made by God. You don’t need to lose weight or gain weight; you don’t need bigger boobs or smaller boobs. You don’t need to wear certain outfits to feel sexy, because those short shorts and low cut shirt is just attracting one thing. Sex.

 

{For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.} 1 john 2:16

 

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Some girls want to find their “husband” yet they’re using their body to attract the wrong kind of men and wonder what happened when it didn’t work out. I’ll tell you why it didn’t work out; it didn’t work out because he was attracted to your body and not your mind and for who you really are. It didn’t work out because he wasn’t a Godly man and you weren’t acting like a Godly woman. Let’s be clear here…. a Godly man is NOT I repeat NOT going to date you for your body. Sure anyone wants to be attracted to his or her future spouse, but if you’re showing off all your goods, how can you be taken serious? There were times where Michael would tell me to cover up a bit when we would go out on dates and he felt that I was showing too much skin. I didn’t understand it back then and I thought he was trying to be controlling. Oh how so much has changed. Whenever I put something on, I always ask my husband if it looks appropriate or if I’m showing too much. When he feels I’m revealing a little too much he’ll say, “you’re showing a little too much, I don’t want other men to look at what’s mine.” I actually find that sexy now. I represent him, we’re one and I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. This DOES not mean you have to be a nun ladies. You can be fashionable, yet tasteful at the same time.

So the next time you think about posting a “sexy” picture of yourself showing off your goods, think about how God would respond or how your future God-leading husband would react. You know when you’re showing a bit much. Leave all that sexiness for your future husband, let HIM enjoy it, not the world!

 

Love,

Mrs. Luster