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Celibacy or remaining abstinent until marriage is something that sadly isn’t supported or encouraged in Today’s society. Sex is talked about freely and openly as if everyone across the globe is married and it’s okay. News flash, IT’S. NOT. OKAY. Sex before marriage only leads to destruction.

{Flee from sexual immortality. All other sins people commit are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.} 1 Corinthians 6:18

Ever wondered why you couldn’t get over that person you repeatedly had sex with? It’s because you gave your body to them. During sex, a chemical called “oxytocin” is released which helps bond the relationship. Take a good look at who you just laid in bed and had sex with. Do you see yourself marrying him/her? NO? Then why are you having casual sex with them? Why are you feeding your flesh with things of this world and not with God? Why would you want to give your body to someone who is not your husband or your wife? Do you not value yourself? Are your temptations much bigger than YOU?

Now I’m not saying I’m perfect because by ALL means I’m not. I too fell under the darkness of temptation. It’s something that I’m not proud of, but I too had sex before marriage. I instantly felt bad about it because I knew that wasn’t pleasing to God and it sure wouldn’t be pleasing to my parents. I thought about all the bad that could’ve come out of me having sex before marriage. I thought about getting pregnant, I thought about “what if Michael and I don’t get married and I’ll have to explain to my one day husband that I gave my body to someone else,” I thought about my younger sisters and what example I was leading. It made me sick to my stomach, but sadly those feelings slowly faded away. Want to know why? … Because I was feeding my body with fleshly things. Songs on the radio with lyrics like “Girl I invented sex,” or “your body plus my body.” I would hear songs like this on the radio and it would feed my temptation. I wasn’t strong enough in my faith to say no. That is until my now husband stood up for the both of us and helped feed my body spiritually instead of sexually. Oh how I thank God for placing such a loving and Godly man in my life, one who respected me more than I even knew at the time.

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Most of you know that Michael and I started dating in high school. We both had the fear of the Lord in us so we remained abstinent for the first two years of our relationship. Girls all around me talked about them loosing their virginity and glorified how amazing it was to have sex. After sharing their stories they would turn to me and wait for me to tell my amazing sexual encounter and when I would say “Oh Michael and I aren’t having sex, we’re waiting until we get married,” they would instantly bust out laughing. They would say things like “Girl, that’s not going to last. He’s an upperclassmen and a guy at that, I’ll give you guys two more weeks.” I literally cringed every time a girl would say that. I would look at them with such disbelief. I even had one girl ask me everyday we had class together, “so did you have sex yet,” and when I would say no, she would encourage me and tell me what to do. My favorite quote (saying that in the most sarcastic way possible) was when girls would tell me “Virgins don’t exist, you can’t leave high school a virgin.” Sadly it happened, I gave into temptation when Michael went off to college. It was a stupid reasoning but the thought of him being in college and STILL a virgin made me think he was going to leave me for another girl. How lost and pathetic I was. I thought I knew God, but I was so far from it. That’s okay; God has a way of pulling you back in because once Michael and I started having sex, that’s when things went downhill. Things started going very wrong in our relationship. We started fighting more; we acted like we owned each other and we were not married so WE DIDN’T. One sinful thing after another and then the unthinkable happened. We broke up. Not like a 2-week break-up or a couple months, we broke up for a whole year. I was a total mess. I didn’t know what to do with myself. What brought me to my knees the most and just tore me apart was the very thing that tore us apart. Sex. We brought sin into our relationship and everything was out of order. The thought of giving my body to a man that wasn’t my husband and one that from the looks of it wasn’t going to be my husband tore me to pieces. God brought me back though. He brought me through it. I needed that break-up more than ever. I needed to grow closer to God and stop living for the world, but for Him. I still wasn’t perfect, nobody is. The only perfect person was JESUS. That’s it.

After battling for a while, Michael sat me down one day after a date night and said these very words “I don’t think we should have sex anymore.” I thought oh no, here it goes again. We’re breaking up. I stood very quiet. I looked at him and said, “Are you seriously breaking up with me again? He was so confused and quickly said “NO NOT AT ALL, I love you, I know you’re the woman I want to marry one day, which is why I want us to save ourselves.” When I think about that day now I think how did I NOT jump up and down for joy?! How did I NOT break down in tears full of praise?! I’ll tell you why, it’s because I was still battling things of the flesh. Let’s be honest, sin will always be around but we must try our very best to remain focused on the one that truly matters, our God. I remember crying out thinking Michael wasn’t attracted to me, that there had to be another woman. How foolish

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Michael was trying to take our relationship to another level, one that was pleasing to God and one that would lead to a healthy marriage one day. I challenged him; we fought about NOT having sex as if we were a married couple. Let me rephrase that, I fought about us not having sex like I was a married woman. When I think about what Michael did for OUR future marriage, it just gives me chills. I love me some him and I want to shout it to the WORLD! Ladies when a man loves you so much that he’s willing to respect your body and feed you spiritually….THAT’S a man. That’s a man that will lead a household the way God intended it to be. Stop laying in bed and giving your body to these little boys who don’t respect you and all they want is your body.

{He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the lord.} Proverbs 18:22

So remember, the next time you want to feed your flesh and have sex outside of marriage remember that leads to STD’S, AIDS, risk of being a single parent which then leads to generational curses, broken hearts and promises, giving your body away, and it sure doesn’t lead to marriage! It’s never too late to become celibate, or to make a vow to remain abstinent, start NOW.

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Love,

Mrs. Luster

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The Power of Forgiveness

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One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do in your life is forgive.  I’m not talking about forgiving someone for not opening the door for you or not saying thanks if you let them cut you in line. I’m talking about the kind of forgiveness that hurts. The kind where you’ve been cheated on, lied to, humiliated, countless of broken promises, etc. Imagine what this world would be like without the power of forgiveness? Image if Jesus never forgave us for our sins.  Scary to even imagine that right? If Jesus himself forgave you, why can’t you forgive them?

 

The first step to forgiving someone is letting go. What are you holding on to? Are you afraid of feeling vulnerable or appearing “weak” if you forgive? Is that not what Jesus did for us? Did he not forgive us when we didn’t deserve it?  Did he not forgive all those that did him wrong and didn’t believe while he lay on the cross, battered and bruised? The answer is YES! Remember, you’re not perfect and one day you’ll need someone to forgive you. Nowadays social media makes all of a difference. If you’re mad at someone and you see a post from him or her, without realizing it your heart starts to be bitter. You roll your eyes at their posts and go to their page to see what they’ve been up to, only to become angry. Here’s how to fix that problem … UNFOLLOW them! It’s better to stay away from their posts than to become bitter each time they get online.

 

The second and most important step to forgiveness is actually forgiving the person! Don’t say you forgive them, but still bring up the past. That refers back to the first step…LET IT GO! It’s easier for a person to not forgive than it is to forgive, but we have to remember that forgiveness comes from our savior. In other words forgiving someone is not about YOU; it’s about being obedient to the Lord and strengthening your faith.  Just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to jump right back into the relationship that you two once had. Take baby steps to get there, and it may never go back to how it was, but that’s okay just as long as you truly forgive them. There are those we can pray for and love from a distance. Trust me, I know how hard it is to fully forgive someone, even when they’ve hurt you more than once.  Don’t let sinconsume your life.

 

{Bear with each other and forgive one another if you have any grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord Forgave you} Colossians 3:13

 

Remember, the Lord forgave us, so you should forgive them.

 

 

Love,

Mrs. Luster

Stop being Angry and Prat

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Sometimes we just need to stop, drop, and pray. Not everyone needs to be told they need to change over and over. Why do you think he/she hasn’t changed? Why are you two STILL fighting over the same things? Why are you still crying the same tears hoping someday he’ll just wake up and get that he’s hurting you and that’s enough to change his ways. Why are you still telling that family member they need to change, or your friend? You’re not perfect so analyze yourself first, but most importantly let God handle their heart. The only person that can make your boyfriend, mom, dad, friend, sister, or cousin change is God himself. Not you, not your mom, and not your best friend…God and God alone.

God gives us signs to walk away. If that person isn’t giving you the time of day, keep it pushing. 

Ladies, you’ve been calling him/texting him and he has yet to respond. Why? He’s clearly not into you. A man will make time for a woman he’s interested in. Don’t force it because you think you two would make a perfect couple and you think God sent him from above JUST for you. God is not a God of confusion, that’s the devil’s work. I know this saying is so cliché but what’s meant to be will be.

This also applies to friendships; it doesn’t matter how long you two have been friends, remember Jesus himself was betrayed. Friendship is a two-way street, if you find yourself constantly having to call that person, reach out to them first when he/she is mad, (or if they’re always getting mad at you for something) or you always have to make plans first…you should probably love them from afar and keep it pushing.

And if you find yourself mad at a family member because of their ways, remember, it’s not your job to change their heart; it’s your job to pray for them and love them.

Surround yourself with those that love you, those that encourage you and make you happy. 

Life changes, and people change, but one thing will always remain…the love Jesus has for you! Whatever is heavy on your heart whether it be finances, boyfriend/girlfriend, career, friends, family members…always remember to praypray, and pray

Love, 

Mrs. Luster