Wow, it’s so hard to believe it’s been 5 years already since the day I married my best friend. To be honest, it feels like we’ve been married way longer ha! Maybe that’s because we’ve been together for like 12 years now all together lol! Nonetheless, I am still if not more in love with my husband today than I was the day I married him.
Marriage is hard work. Let’s get real. It’s not at all roses and candle lit dinner ( or any of that unless it’s an anniversary lol let’s be real) every day, but if you’re willing to put in the work marriage is such a beautiful thing.
I’ve come up with 5 things that I’ve learned so far about marriage and I hope to encourage you all. In our generation you just don’t hear about long-lasting marriages anymore. As a matter of fact, 50% of marriages today end up in divorce. 50% guys!!!!! That means that every 1 out of 2 people you meet are divorced. Wow, that means our generation has to wake up! We’re doing something wrong. Which brings me to number one on my list.
- Put God first- Sounds easy enough right? In order to have a successful marriage, God should be at the center of your marriage. This is not up for debate. This is by far THE most important one on this list. It’s what keeps a healthy foundation. It’s what gets you two through the darkest of times, what keeps you two on the same page, and what sets up a healthy foundation. This is what has kept my marriage whole, healthy, and successful. Michael and I made a commitment before God, to love and honor one another in His name. That’s exactly what we’ve done and it has worked wonders for our marriage. The bible tells us in Mark 10:9 “What God has joined together, let no man tear apart.” Sure we experienced trials and tribulations in our marriage, but because of our strong foundation (God) it didn’t even make a dent in our marriage. I know more trials and tribulations are to come, but with our strong foundation in Christ, our marriage can stand strong. God’s word doesn’t lie. 🙂
- Be Selfless– This one can be so hard at times because we’re all human and if we’re completely honest…we can all be a little selfish at times. I’ve learned that no matter what I need to be selfless when it comes to my husband. I’ve been angry before and by nature have acted selfish. Let me tell you, especially to my ladies…its not worth it and it only makes things worse. I’ve learned to take my frustrations to God and leave them there. I even challenge you ladies to ask the Lord how you can serve your husband more. Your husband might have had a stressful day at work and just wants to come home and relax. Cook your man a hot meal, serve him his meal when he walks through that door and just talk with him about his day. I do this everyday for my husband and I realize how much it means to him. He loves a hot plate of food and for it to be served to him.
- Pray for your spouse– this is also another important key factor in a healthy marriage. The devil is prowling around trying to devour not only you, but your spouse as well. Your spouse may be dealing with something they’re not even telling you about and it’s so important to keep them lifted up in prayer. Michael as I’m sure as a lot of men do, doesn’t like to show when he’s stressed out. He doesn’t want to get me all stressed out and he is very much a problem solver. As his wife, I’ve learned to sense when he’s stressed so I’ll try to get him to talk about with me and I always pray for him in my quiet time. I don’t need the devil anywhere near me or my family, especially around the leader of my household. NOT TODAY SATAN!
- Remember you’re on the same team– Ladies, I know we tend to angry and we want so badly to prove our point. We have to stop and remember that it’s not about who is wrong or who is right. You have to remember you’re on the same team as your spouse. You two are one, so whatever hurt you’re feeling, they’re also feeling it. Don’t let pride get in the way of coming to a resolution and never go to bed angry. The bible tell us in Ephesians 4:26 to not let the sun go down while we are still angry. I guarantee you that whatever you’re upset about is not worth it at all. Take a deep breath, pray about it together, and let it go.
- Never stop dating– Just because you two are married now, doesn’t mean you two should get so comfortable where you don’t date each other anymore. Keep the love alive. Ladies, get dolled up to go out and have regular date nights with your man. Fellas, plan a romantic date night with your wifey every once in a while. Date night can be anywhere at anytime. You two can have a date to the grocery store, cook a meal together, or watch a movie at home alone together. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you two are spending alone quality time together. Don’t have a babysitter? Wait until the kids go to bed and play board games with each other. This is a fun and inexpensive way to have a date night. Michael and I love playing board games. Fun fact: I’m actually a beast at connect four and one night Michael was determined to beat me so we stayed up until like 2 A.M. until he finally won haha! I may or may not have let him win because I was tired and ready to go to bed, lol shhhh don’t tell him. 🙂
So there you have it. 5 things I’ve learned about marriage so far. I pray that you are encouraged and for those that aren’t married yet, I pray that you take these 5 tips and apply them to your future marriage. 🙂