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Celibacy or remaining abstinent until marriage is something that sadly isn’t supported or encouraged in Today’s society. Sex is talked about freely and openly as if everyone across the globe is married and it’s okay. News flash, IT’S. NOT. OKAY. Sex before marriage only leads to destruction.

{Flee from sexual immortality. All other sins people commit are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.} 1 Corinthians 6:18

Ever wondered why you couldn’t get over that person you repeatedly had sex with? It’s because you gave your body to them. During sex, a chemical called “oxytocin” is released which helps bond the relationship. Take a good look at who you just laid in bed and had sex with. Do you see yourself marrying him/her? NO? Then why are you having casual sex with them? Why are you feeding your flesh with things of this world and not with God? Why would you want to give your body to someone who is not your husband or your wife? Do you not value yourself? Are your temptations much bigger than YOU?

Now I’m not saying I’m perfect because by ALL means I’m not. I too fell under the darkness of temptation. It’s something that I’m not proud of, but I too had sex before marriage. I instantly felt bad about it because I knew that wasn’t pleasing to God and it sure wouldn’t be pleasing to my parents. I thought about all the bad that could’ve come out of me having sex before marriage. I thought about getting pregnant, I thought about “what if Michael and I don’t get married and I’ll have to explain to my one day husband that I gave my body to someone else,” I thought about my younger sisters and what example I was leading. It made me sick to my stomach, but sadly those feelings slowly faded away. Want to know why? … Because I was feeding my body with fleshly things. Songs on the radio with lyrics like “Girl I invented sex,” or “your body plus my body.” I would hear songs like this on the radio and it would feed my temptation. I wasn’t strong enough in my faith to say no. That is until my now husband stood up for the both of us and helped feed my body spiritually instead of sexually. Oh how I thank God for placing such a loving and Godly man in my life, one who respected me more than I even knew at the time.

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Most of you know that Michael and I started dating in high school. We both had the fear of the Lord in us so we remained abstinent for the first two years of our relationship. Girls all around me talked about them loosing their virginity and glorified how amazing it was to have sex. After sharing their stories they would turn to me and wait for me to tell my amazing sexual encounter and when I would say “Oh Michael and I aren’t having sex, we’re waiting until we get married,” they would instantly bust out laughing. They would say things like “Girl, that’s not going to last. He’s an upperclassmen and a guy at that, I’ll give you guys two more weeks.” I literally cringed every time a girl would say that. I would look at them with such disbelief. I even had one girl ask me everyday we had class together, “so did you have sex yet,” and when I would say no, she would encourage me and tell me what to do. My favorite quote (saying that in the most sarcastic way possible) was when girls would tell me “Virgins don’t exist, you can’t leave high school a virgin.” Sadly it happened, I gave into temptation when Michael went off to college. It was a stupid reasoning but the thought of him being in college and STILL a virgin made me think he was going to leave me for another girl. How lost and pathetic I was. I thought I knew God, but I was so far from it. That’s okay; God has a way of pulling you back in because once Michael and I started having sex, that’s when things went downhill. Things started going very wrong in our relationship. We started fighting more; we acted like we owned each other and we were not married so WE DIDN’T. One sinful thing after another and then the unthinkable happened. We broke up. Not like a 2-week break-up or a couple months, we broke up for a whole year. I was a total mess. I didn’t know what to do with myself. What brought me to my knees the most and just tore me apart was the very thing that tore us apart. Sex. We brought sin into our relationship and everything was out of order. The thought of giving my body to a man that wasn’t my husband and one that from the looks of it wasn’t going to be my husband tore me to pieces. God brought me back though. He brought me through it. I needed that break-up more than ever. I needed to grow closer to God and stop living for the world, but for Him. I still wasn’t perfect, nobody is. The only perfect person was JESUS. That’s it.

After battling for a while, Michael sat me down one day after a date night and said these very words “I don’t think we should have sex anymore.” I thought oh no, here it goes again. We’re breaking up. I stood very quiet. I looked at him and said, “Are you seriously breaking up with me again? He was so confused and quickly said “NO NOT AT ALL, I love you, I know you’re the woman I want to marry one day, which is why I want us to save ourselves.” When I think about that day now I think how did I NOT jump up and down for joy?! How did I NOT break down in tears full of praise?! I’ll tell you why, it’s because I was still battling things of the flesh. Let’s be honest, sin will always be around but we must try our very best to remain focused on the one that truly matters, our God. I remember crying out thinking Michael wasn’t attracted to me, that there had to be another woman. How foolish

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Michael was trying to take our relationship to another level, one that was pleasing to God and one that would lead to a healthy marriage one day. I challenged him; we fought about NOT having sex as if we were a married couple. Let me rephrase that, I fought about us not having sex like I was a married woman. When I think about what Michael did for OUR future marriage, it just gives me chills. I love me some him and I want to shout it to the WORLD! Ladies when a man loves you so much that he’s willing to respect your body and feed you spiritually….THAT’S a man. That’s a man that will lead a household the way God intended it to be. Stop laying in bed and giving your body to these little boys who don’t respect you and all they want is your body.

{He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the lord.} Proverbs 18:22

So remember, the next time you want to feed your flesh and have sex outside of marriage remember that leads to STD’S, AIDS, risk of being a single parent which then leads to generational curses, broken hearts and promises, giving your body away, and it sure doesn’t lead to marriage! It’s never too late to become celibate, or to make a vow to remain abstinent, start NOW.

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Love,

Mrs. Luster

The Power of Forgiveness

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One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do in your life is forgive.  I’m not talking about forgiving someone for not opening the door for you or not saying thanks if you let them cut you in line. I’m talking about the kind of forgiveness that hurts. The kind where you’ve been cheated on, lied to, humiliated, countless of broken promises, etc. Imagine what this world would be like without the power of forgiveness? Image if Jesus never forgave us for our sins.  Scary to even imagine that right? If Jesus himself forgave you, why can’t you forgive them?

 

The first step to forgiving someone is letting go. What are you holding on to? Are you afraid of feeling vulnerable or appearing “weak” if you forgive? Is that not what Jesus did for us? Did he not forgive us when we didn’t deserve it?  Did he not forgive all those that did him wrong and didn’t believe while he lay on the cross, battered and bruised? The answer is YES! Remember, you’re not perfect and one day you’ll need someone to forgive you. Nowadays social media makes all of a difference. If you’re mad at someone and you see a post from him or her, without realizing it your heart starts to be bitter. You roll your eyes at their posts and go to their page to see what they’ve been up to, only to become angry. Here’s how to fix that problem … UNFOLLOW them! It’s better to stay away from their posts than to become bitter each time they get online.

 

The second and most important step to forgiveness is actually forgiving the person! Don’t say you forgive them, but still bring up the past. That refers back to the first step…LET IT GO! It’s easier for a person to not forgive than it is to forgive, but we have to remember that forgiveness comes from our savior. In other words forgiving someone is not about YOU; it’s about being obedient to the Lord and strengthening your faith.  Just because you forgive someone does not mean you have to jump right back into the relationship that you two once had. Take baby steps to get there, and it may never go back to how it was, but that’s okay just as long as you truly forgive them. There are those we can pray for and love from a distance. Trust me, I know how hard it is to fully forgive someone, even when they’ve hurt you more than once.  Don’t let sinconsume your life.

 

{Bear with each other and forgive one another if you have any grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord Forgave you} Colossians 3:13

 

Remember, the Lord forgave us, so you should forgive them.

 

 

Love,

Mrs. Luster

Stop being Angry and Prat

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Sometimes we just need to stop, drop, and pray. Not everyone needs to be told they need to change over and over. Why do you think he/she hasn’t changed? Why are you two STILL fighting over the same things? Why are you still crying the same tears hoping someday he’ll just wake up and get that he’s hurting you and that’s enough to change his ways. Why are you still telling that family member they need to change, or your friend? You’re not perfect so analyze yourself first, but most importantly let God handle their heart. The only person that can make your boyfriend, mom, dad, friend, sister, or cousin change is God himself. Not you, not your mom, and not your best friend…God and God alone.

God gives us signs to walk away. If that person isn’t giving you the time of day, keep it pushing. 

Ladies, you’ve been calling him/texting him and he has yet to respond. Why? He’s clearly not into you. A man will make time for a woman he’s interested in. Don’t force it because you think you two would make a perfect couple and you think God sent him from above JUST for you. God is not a God of confusion, that’s the devil’s work. I know this saying is so cliché but what’s meant to be will be.

This also applies to friendships; it doesn’t matter how long you two have been friends, remember Jesus himself was betrayed. Friendship is a two-way street, if you find yourself constantly having to call that person, reach out to them first when he/she is mad, (or if they’re always getting mad at you for something) or you always have to make plans first…you should probably love them from afar and keep it pushing.

And if you find yourself mad at a family member because of their ways, remember, it’s not your job to change their heart; it’s your job to pray for them and love them.

Surround yourself with those that love you, those that encourage you and make you happy. 

Life changes, and people change, but one thing will always remain…the love Jesus has for you! Whatever is heavy on your heart whether it be finances, boyfriend/girlfriend, career, friends, family members…always remember to praypray, and pray

Love, 

Mrs. Luster

Submission

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Submission is something I never really believed in, or really understood I should say until I got married. It’s something I struggled with at the beginning of our marriage and something I still have to remind myself to be a submissive wife.  I was raised by an outspoken Latin mother, and submission did not exist in our household. My father did as my mother said and when she was angry about something, boy oh boy did he hear about it. Anyone that knows me knows I don’t keep my mouth shut. If something needs to be said, I say it and I’m very straightforward about it, especially if it’s something I feel passionate about. But this is not how God intended for marriage to be.

 

“Wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” {Colossians 3:18-19} A wife is supposed to submit herself to her husband and as her husband submits himself unto the Lord. Now this does not mean that wives are not supposed to have a voice or an opinion, it just means that women are supposed to let their husbands lead their households as it was intended to be. Whenever women try to lead their household, chaos will happen because that’s not how the Lord intended it to be. The next question I might get is, “but what if my husband isn’t spiritual, therefore he’s not leading his household in a spiritual way?” The answer is simple. Pray. Pray to the only man that will make your husband become the man you want him to be. God too wants your husband to be the spiritual leader he can be. Be an example to your husband, get yourself right with God and never stop praying for your husband. God is the only one that can heal a “broken” home.

As some of you may know, I’ve been reading a book called “The Power of A Praying Wife,” and let me tell you how amazing this book is. It has opened my eyes in more ways than I could’ve ever imagined, the first being a submissive wife. I had always prayed for my husband, but this book has showed me things to pray for my husband that I never would have thought of. Ever since I’ve started reading this book I feel as if my marriage has become even better. My husband is a spiritual leader of our household and it’s an honor to be his wife, so why not be the best wife I can be?  The most important part of a marriage isn’t planning a wedding. It’s planning a healthy spiritual future together. So to all my wives and single ladies, it’s never too late to start praying for your husbands and praying for spiritual growth in your marriage. After all, when you get married two becomes one. When he’s off track, you’re off track so get back on track…God’s track.

 

Love,

Mrs. Luster.

Generation curse or Generational Blessing…. You decide!

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We’d all like to think that we come from a perfect home with no family secrets or family drama, but the truth is just about every one has some sort of family drama or some serious underlying issues. There are two things you can pass down to your kids: Generational curses or generational blessings. Take a dead-beat father for insistence. One who only took part in making a child, but failed to be there for their child’s greatest moments in life guiding them or supporting their biggest decisions…or how about a single mother that brought men in and out of her children’s lives and was more concerned with finding a husband rather than finding stability for her children. You swore you’d never make the same mistakes your father or mother made…yet you find yourself unknowingly in the exact positions as them and before you know it the cycle keeps going leading to a generational curse.

Someone has to put an end to the generational curse, and it can start with you. Don’t make the same mistakes your parents made or family members made. Don’t date that man/woman if they don’t bring out the best for you and inspire you to be a better man/woman just because you don’t want to be alone…that’s how generational curses continue leading to years of suffering and frustration. Make a change; aspire to want to have a healthy home with a God-fearing Husband or Wife. Start planting generational blessings for you, your kids and their future children.

 

So before you think you’re ready to tie the knot, make sure the person you’re marrying shares your love for the Lord, you’re compatible with, inspires you, respects you, loves you, and most importantly…they’ll help create a generational blessing

 

Love,

Mrs. Luster

A man will only do what you allow him to do…

Love is patient, Love is kind

How many times when you’re venting to your girls about what your man, it’s “his” fault you’re mad and the reason things aren’t working out. You slept with him and now he’s not returning your calls and he’s acting like a complete jerk, he curses at you when you two are fighting, he keeps having female “friends” hit up his phone and he tells you it’s nothing and not to worry about it, or how about when you two move in together and it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out and now he’s moving out. STOP, STOP, STOP blaming it all on him. Everything was cool when you two were having sex, everything was okay when you two were spending time together, and everything was fine when you both went apartment hunting together…but now he decided to up and leave one day and now it’s all his fault you’re left broken-hearted right? Wrong. It takes two to tango. So just as much as you think he’s wrong (which he is, I’m not saying all of these are right) you’re just as wrong. A man will only do what you allow him to do. You made that decision to have sex with him and not think about the consequences, there’s a reason why God made sex for marriage (I’ll talk about that in a later blog) and now that he’s treating you different it’s “him.” You made the decision to play house without having a ring on your finger and making that commitment before God, and now it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out.

Ladies we have to value ourselves because if we don’t, what makes you think a man will? The first thing you did wrong was give your all to man that isn’t your husband and expect him to act like one. Now I’m not saying that we can’t treat our boyfriends right and fall in love, but love is patient and love is kind. If he’s pressuring you to have sex…red flag number one. If he curses at you when you two are mad at each other, apologizes, and curses at you again the next time you two argue…he doesn’t respect you and that’s red flag number 2. If he keeps having lady friends hit up his phone and he tries to hide his phone and panics when a text goes off right by you…red flag number 3. Do you see where I’m going here? This man wasn’t the man for you so why give your all to a man like this and then have the nerve to say it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out. You allowed a man to disrespect you, you allowed a man to take your dignity, and you allowed a man to walk all over you. He didn’t deserve your love and you need to move on, let go, and let God. This is not a Godly man and he needs to find his faith and as much as we would like to help him get there, we can’t force it. In the mean time get right with God and let him bless with you an amazing Godly man that you can one day call your husband.

I’m not saying women aren’t allowed to make mistakes. In NO way am I saying I’m perfect, but when girls vent to me about their guy and I hear all the awful things he’s doing and saying to her and she’s allowing it…. it’s hard for me to just blame it all on the guy. You have power over your feelings, don’t let a man that doesn’t deserve your affection get the best of you…because you’ll regret it later.

 

Love,

Mrs. Luster

#Marriage Problems

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It took a while for me to comprehend that some marital issues aren’t really marital issues, they’re really single issues brought into a marriage. You’re probably thinking “Girl what are you talking about” but just hear me out. What are some of the major issues couples fight about?

 

1.) Spending time together

2.) Jealousy

3.) Social Networks

4.) Cheating

 

Every single topic I just named is NOT issues of a marriage, it’s an issue of a single person that didn’t realize the importance of a marital commitment and decided to get married anyways. When you made that commitment to get married, you not only made that commitment to your spouse but you made a promise before God to honor, love, and respect your spouse. {Hebrews 13:4-7}  You shouldn’t be fighting with your spouse about spending time together, that means one of you is being selfish and giving your time to everyone else, except the most important person in your life, your spouse.

Jealousy is the most ugly trait in my book, and it’s definitely not a trait of a married person. If you’re currently single and dealing with jealousy issues with your significant other, ask yourself “Why am I getting jealous?” Jealousy should NOT be brought into a marriage, it will only cause problems in your marriage and allow room for the enemy to come in and destroy it. You should be confident that your significant other loves you and only has eyes for you. Don’t think about things you cannot control. If your spouse is showing signs of jealousy, that is a clear indication that the enemy is in between your marriage and it needs to be stopped immediately. {1 Corinthians 4-8} Don’t allow the enemy to get in and destroy your marriage. This goes for the people you surround yourself with as well. It may hurt to burn a bridge, but if God is telling you to burn a bridge with someone in your life, it’s because they could be a potential threat to you and your marriage. Love them from afar and pray for them because the enemy is surrounding them.

As for social networks, I could go on and on about this topic but it all boils down to this one word…. TRUST. Trust is a trait that should be defined while dating and trust issues should NOT be brought into a marriage. Trust that your spouse loves you and trust the commitment you two made. If you trust your spouse and trust that he/she will honor you, no need to go snooping around their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or whatever else is out there. I don’t ever go to my husband’s social media sites specifically to see if he has been talking to another female on there. I trust my husband with all of my heart and I know our marriage is blessed. I won’t allow the enemy to get in my ear and tell me things like “Girl he may be a good man, but even good men cheat.” Well girl thanks for telling me how to handle MY marriage, but I got this.

As for cheating, if a man is going to cheat he’s going to cheat. Again, that’s not an issue of a married person. It’s an issue of a single person. It means the enemy came in and called a victory. I’m not saying I would never forgive my husband or that any woman should never forgive their husband’s of cheating. Forgiveness is something God gave us, so why wouldn’t we do the same for others?  However forgiveness doesn’t mean their actions are allowed. We get punished for our sins and it hurts God, so for men and women that cheat…it will hurt your spouse and it will hurt your marriage. It’s something that should be forgiven and I know will take time. I’m not saying forgiveness means overnight and you don’t have the right to divorce, all I’m saying is to react in God’s way, not the enemy’s way. Don’t go keying up his/ her car or the person they cheated on you with. It’s not their fault; it’s the enemies’ fault. Don’t give the enemy a victory.

To all my singles, work on getting your single problems taken care of before you get married. Addressing these issues and realizing that you need changing as well, not just your significant other can make for a healthy marriage.

To all my married people out there, if you’re experiencing these issues it is important to work on them and not allow the enemy to come in and destroy your marriage With all that being said, Marriages are not perfect and they will still have issues, but with the power of prayer and believing in God…the marriage is fireproof.

 

Love,

Mrs. Luster