Wow. It’s all I can really say. It seems as if I blinked and my baby girl is one. It’s true when people say that kids grow up really fast. Seems like just yesterday my baby girl was moving around in my stomach and now she’s sassy as can be and just the center of our world. It never gets old looking at her and thinking, God, you really did it, you blessed me with me most amazing gift ever, a beautiful baby girl that I can call my own.
This year has been by far the best year of my life. Aria has taught me so much about myself as a woman, a mother, and even a wife. Seeing my husband with her and how patient and loving and kind he is just makes me fall in love with him even more. I should be asleep right now, but I’m lying in bed, writing my thoughts, staring at both of my babies sleep, Hubby and Aria.
The day I gave birth to Aria I felt this sense of peace like no other, it was as if Jesus himself was in the room. I have never felt peace like that ever before. I wasn’t nervous, I wasn’t scared, I just knew that the Lord was with me and he prepared me for this day my whole life. In that moment I knew my purpose, I knew I was born to be a mother. I knew that this little bundle of joy was about to take over my life in the best way possible and I was so ready for it.
The journey to motherhood was no easy task and labor proved to be another obstacle. I wanted so badly to do an all natural birth (as in no drugs whatsoever), but the pain was way too much. After 4 hours of intense contractions, (that were coming less than a minute apart…OUCH) I had enough. I like to think I have a high pain tolerance, (I mean I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out and I didn’t take one single pain pill), But I remember thinking to myself, I’m not going against what the Lord specifically made to be painful. So I got an epidural. Was it painful you ask? At that point, I couldn’t feel any more pain than what I was already feeling so to be honest I don’t even remember the epidural process.
I was in labor for 21 hours. The last 4 hours were the most intense. Each time I had a contraction, Aria’s blood pressure would drop very low. This went on for a few hours and each time it happened I felt like the world stopped and I couldn’t breathe thinking about if something might happen to my baby. But I had one amazing hospital staff to back my amazing doctor and me up. He knew I wanted so badly to deliver vaginally. He was patient and made sure baby girl was doing great. Then I got stuck at 8 CM. I had to be at a full 10 CM to start pushing. I just remember the doctor saying “Okay Steph I’m going to come back in about an hour. If you’re still not fully dilated, I’m sorry we’re going to have to discuss a C-section.” Something inside me refused to accept that so I called my family in and we all started praying. An hour later the doctor checked me and I was at a full 10! Time to start pushing. The song that was playing as baby girl was being born was a song by Kari Jobe called “Speak to me”. It was so fitting. I felt the Lord speaking to me the entire time. It was a healing moment from all the pain I had endured. The miscarriages, the heartaches, it was as if God said, “It is finished,” I now had my beautiful blessing, my promise from God, my rainbow after the storm.
So I say all this to encourage someone that may be going through a tough time. God is with you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, He’s always there and there is always a purpose. May the Lord continue to bless you.