Dating can be overwhelming, especially in today’s society. It seems as though women are finding it harder and harder to trust a man and every song on the radio is about a cheating man. This may be a cliché saying, and I don’t want to hear “Steph you got lucky and found a good man at such a young age,” but there ARE good men out there, you just have to adjust your priorities. You can’t want Mr. tall, dark, and handsome with a “track record” and think he’ll be different with you. It really leaves me dumbfounded when a woman starts dating a man knowing VERY well of his “trifling’” ways and STILL has the nerve to act surprised when he turns around and does the EXACT same thing to them. Now I’m not saying a man can’t find God and change his ways, but you can’t be the one to make that decision for him, HE has to make that commitment. So ladies please don’t date a man JUST for his looks and think you’re a good enough woman to change him, because it’s not going to happen. Whenever a guy wanted to date me I had three simple criteria I would look for (with the exception of finding him attractive).
1.) He had to believe in God and have faith. You can’t tell your heart whom to love. When it loves it loves and I wanted to make sure the man I fell in love with and potentially marry one day, would lead his family spiritually under God.
2.) He had to have a healthy loving relationship with his mom. If he cursed his mom out, caught an attitude with her, or complained about his mom to me…he immediately got X’ed off of my potential list. THE WAY A MAN TREATS HIS MOM IS THE EXACT SAME WAY HE’LL TREAT YOU! If he doesn’t have respect for the woman that gave birth to him, what makes you so special? That went for his sister(s) as well. Obviously when you’re growing up your siblings can get on your nerves, but the way he argues with his sibling will show you how mature he is and more than likely how arguments between you two will go. Let’s face it ladies, at one point or another we’re going to get on his nerves, so again…if he has no respect for his own sister, what makes you so special?
3.) He had to have goals and aspirations. I didn’t have any specific goals or aspirations I wanted him to have, but I will say this… I tried to stay away from the “wannabe rappers,” not throwing any shade to the women who like that, but let’s face it…rappers are supposed to put up this “bad boy” persona, and what rapper do you know that hasn’t been on the front of the tabloids for something negative. I want a man of a God, a man that will represent his family well, a man that will love me unconditionally, and a man that isn’t concerned with the things of this world.
This criteria may seem simple but every time I dated a dude, sooner or later he would mess up in at least ONE of these areas. My husband passed all three with flying colors, and was the ONLY one to do so, which is why it was so easy to fall deeply in love with him making him my husband now!
So ladies, think about your priorities when it comes to dating a man.