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I’m striving to be a better wife than I was a girlfriend. I’ve recently started reading “The Power of a Praying Wife” (Awesome read, I recommend it to all the ladies, married or not), and it’s helping me become more patient, understanding, and most importantly reminds me to pray daily for my husband. 

While Mike and I were dating, fights seemed more dramatic, longer, and pointless. Now I’m not saying we don’t have pointless arguments, but we definitely get over it quicker and realize how pointless the argument was (ok, he gets over it quicker than I do, I’ll admit lol). Mike and I are complete opposites when it comes to arguing. I’m loud and I tend to curse (God is really working with me there, and it’s something I’m definitely not proud of), but he’s the total opposite. I’ll be yelling trying to get my point across and at the end of it all he’ll literally say “I’m going to let you think about what you just said and we can talk about it when you’re calm.” How can I still want to argue after that? My husband is literally so calm, gentle, and doesn’t force his point across like I tend to do. He makes me want to become a better wife and a better Christian.

Ladies learn to pick your battles. Arguing with your man because he didn’t do the dishes, or because he left the toilet seat up IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT. Here’s another hard one that I had to learn, arguing over something that hasn’t happened yet IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT. If you’re arguing with your man/woman about something he/she hasn’t even done yet, chances are that argument will go absolutely nowhere and you both will just be irritated. If I had a quarter for every time I started an argument with Mike over something he hadn’t even done while were dating, I’d be rich!  There’s no such thing as a perfect man/woman.  Chances are you have a great spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend by your side but your insecurities won’t let you enjoy them. You can’t keep someone from cheating, it’s just inevitable. If he/she is going to cheat then they weren’t ready for the woman/man you are anyways! They weren’t ready for commitment, and that’s okay you just pray for them, forgive them, and keep it moving. So STOP arguing about the possibility of them being unfaithful, trying to put fear in them isn’t going to keep them from cheating. 

The next time an argument starts between you two, stop and think about a few things:

1.) Is this argument even worth it?

2.) Is this something I can live without arguing about?

3.) Am I being rational right now or am I just working off emotion?

4.) Don’t forget to PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY some more.

Love, 

Mrs. Luster

 

 

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Dating can be overwhelming, especially in today’s society. It seems as though women are finding it harder and harder to trust a man and every song on the radio is about a cheating man. This may be a cliché saying, and I don’t want to hear “Steph you got lucky and found a good man at such a young age,” but there ARE good men out there, you just have to adjust your priorities. You can’t want Mr. tall, dark, and handsome with a “track record” and think he’ll be different with you. It really leaves me dumbfounded when a woman starts dating a man knowing VERY well of his “trifling’” ways and STILL has the nerve to act surprised when he turns around and does the EXACT same thing to them. Now I’m not saying a man can’t find God and change his ways, but you can’t be the one to make that decision for him, HE has to make that commitment. So ladies please don’t date a man JUST for his looks and think you’re a good enough woman to change him, because it’s not going to happen. Whenever a guy wanted to date me I had three simple criteria I would look for (with the exception of finding him attractive). 

1.) He had to believe in God and have faith. You can’t tell your heart whom to love. When it loves it loves and I wanted to make sure the man I fell in love with and potentially marry one day, would lead his family spiritually under God. 

2.) He had to have a healthy loving relationship with his mom. If he cursed his mom out, caught an attitude with her, or complained about his mom to me…he immediately got X’ed off of my potential list. THE WAY A MAN TREATS HIS MOM IS THE EXACT SAME WAY HE’LL TREAT YOU! If he doesn’t have respect for the woman that gave birth to him, what makes you so special? That went for his sister(s) as well. Obviously when you’re growing up your siblings can get on your nerves, but the way he argues with his sibling will show you how mature he is and more than likely how arguments between you two will go. Let’s face it ladies, at one point or another we’re going to get on his nerves, so again…if he has no respect for his own sister, what makes you so special? 

3.) He had to have goals and aspirations. I didn’t have any specific goals or aspirations I wanted him to have, but I will say this… I tried to stay away from the “wannabe rappers,” not throwing any shade to the women who like that, but let’s face it…rappers are supposed to put up this “bad boy” persona, and what rapper do you know that hasn’t been on the front of the tabloids for something negative. I want a man of a God, a man that will represent his family well, a man that will love me unconditionally, and a man that isn’t concerned with the things of this world. 

This criteria may seem simple but every time I dated a dude, sooner or later he would mess up in at least ONE of these areas. My husband passed all three with flying colors, and was the ONLY one to do so, which is why it was so easy to fall deeply in love with him making him my husband now! 

So ladies, think about your priorities when it comes to dating a man.

 

Love, 

Mrs. Luster