How many times when you’re venting to your girls about what your man, it’s “his” fault you’re mad and the reason things aren’t working out. You slept with him and now he’s not returning your calls and he’s acting like a complete jerk, he curses at you when you two are fighting, he keeps having female “friends” hit up his phone and he tells you it’s nothing and not to worry about it, or how about when you two move in together and it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out and now he’s moving out. STOP, STOP, STOP blaming it all on him. Everything was cool when you two were having sex, everything was okay when you two were spending time together, and everything was fine when you both went apartment hunting together…but now he decided to up and leave one day and now it’s all his fault you’re left broken-hearted right? Wrong. It takes two to tango. So just as much as you think he’s wrong (which he is, I’m not saying all of these are right) you’re just as wrong. A man will only do what you allow him to do. You made that decision to have sex with him and not think about the consequences, there’s a reason why God made sex for marriage (I’ll talk about that in a later blog) and now that he’s treating you different it’s “him.” You made the decision to play house without having a ring on your finger and making that commitment before God, and now it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out.
Ladies we have to value ourselves because if we don’t, what makes you think a man will? The first thing you did wrong was give your all to man that isn’t your husband and expect him to act like one. Now I’m not saying that we can’t treat our boyfriends right and fall in love, but love is patient and love is kind. If he’s pressuring you to have sex…red flag number one. If he curses at you when you two are mad at each other, apologizes, and curses at you again the next time you two argue…he doesn’t respect you and that’s red flag number 2. If he keeps having lady friends hit up his phone and he tries to hide his phone and panics when a text goes off right by you…red flag number 3. Do you see where I’m going here? This man wasn’t the man for you so why give your all to a man like this and then have the nerve to say it’s “his” fault things didn’t work out. You allowed a man to disrespect you, you allowed a man to take your dignity, and you allowed a man to walk all over you. He didn’t deserve your love and you need to move on, let go, and let God. This is not a Godly man and he needs to find his faith and as much as we would like to help him get there, we can’t force it. In the mean time get right with God and let him bless with you an amazing Godly man that you can one day call your husband.
I’m not saying women aren’t allowed to make mistakes. In NO way am I saying I’m perfect, but when girls vent to me about their guy and I hear all the awful things he’s doing and saying to her and she’s allowing it…. it’s hard for me to just blame it all on the guy. You have power over your feelings, don’t let a man that doesn’t deserve your affection get the best of you…because you’ll regret it later.