Celibacy or remaining abstinent until marriage is something that sadly isn’t supported or encouraged in Today’s society. Sex is talked about freely and openly as if everyone across the globe is married and it’s okay. News flash, IT’S. NOT. OKAY. Sex before marriage only leads to destruction.

{Flee from sexual immortality. All other sins people commit are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.} 1 Corinthians 6:18

Ever wondered why you couldn’t get over that person you repeatedly had sex with? It’s because you gave your body to them. During sex, a chemical called “oxytocin” is released which helps bond the relationship. Take a good look at who you just laid in bed and had sex with. Do you see yourself marrying him/her? NO? Then why are you having casual sex with them? Why are you feeding your flesh with things of this world and not with God? Why would you want to give your body to someone who is not your husband or your wife? Do you not value yourself? Are your temptations much bigger than YOU?

Now I’m not saying I’m perfect because by ALL means I’m not. I too fell under the darkness of temptation. It’s something that I’m not proud of, but I too had sex before marriage. I instantly felt bad about it because I knew that wasn’t pleasing to God and it sure wouldn’t be pleasing to my parents. I thought about all the bad that could’ve come out of me having sex before marriage. I thought about getting pregnant, I thought about “what if Michael and I don’t get married and I’ll have to explain to my one day husband that I gave my body to someone else,” I thought about my younger sisters and what example I was leading. It made me sick to my stomach, but sadly those feelings slowly faded away. Want to know why? … Because I was feeding my body with fleshly things. Songs on the radio with lyrics like “Girl I invented sex,” or “your body plus my body.” I would hear songs like this on the radio and it would feed my temptation. I wasn’t strong enough in my faith to say no. That is until my now husband stood up for the both of us and helped feed my body spiritually instead of sexually. Oh how I thank God for placing such a loving and Godly man in my life, one who respected me more than I even knew at the time.

Most of you know that Michael and I started dating in high school. We both had the fear of the Lord in us so we remained abstinent for the first two years of our relationship. Girls all around me talked about them loosing their virginity and glorified how amazing it was to have sex. After sharing their stories they would turn to me and wait for me to tell my amazing sexual encounter and when I would say “Oh Michael and I aren’t having sex, we’re waiting until we get married,” they would instantly bust out laughing. They would say things like “Girl, that’s not going to last. He’s an upperclassmen and a guy at that, I’ll give you guys two more weeks.” I literally cringed every time a girl would say that. I would look at them with such disbelief. I even had one girl ask me everyday we had class together, “so did you have sex yet,” and when I would say no, she would encourage me and tell me what to do. My favorite quote (saying that in the most sarcastic way possible) was when girls would tell me “Virgins don’t exist, you can’t leave high school a virgin.” Sadly it happened, I gave into temptation when Michael went off to college. It was a stupid reasoning but the thought of him being in college and STILL a virgin made me think he was going to leave me for another girl. How lost and pathetic I was. I thought I knew God, but I was so far from it. That’s okay; God has a way of pulling you back in because once Michael and I started having sex, that’s when things went downhill. Things started going very wrong in our relationship. We started fighting more; we acted like we owned each other and we were not married so WE DIDN’T. One sinful thing after another and then the unthinkable happened. We broke up. Not like a 2-week break-up or a couple months, we broke up for a whole year. I was a total mess. I didn’t know what to do with myself. What brought me to my knees the most and just tore me apart was the very thing that tore us apart. Sex. We brought sin into our relationship and everything was out of order. The thought of giving my body to a man that wasn’t my husband and one that from the looks of it wasn’t going to be my husband tore me to pieces. God brought me back though. He brought me through it. I needed that break-up more than ever. I needed to grow closer to God and stop living for the world, but for Him. I still wasn’t perfect, nobody is. The only perfect person was JESUS. That’s it.

After battling for a while, Michael sat me down one day after a date night and said these very words “I don’t think we should have sex anymore.” I thought oh no, here it goes again. We’re breaking up. I stood very quiet. I looked at him and said, “Are you seriously breaking up with me again? He was so confused and quickly said “NO NOT AT ALL, I love you, I know you’re the woman I want to marry one day, which is why I want us to save ourselves.” When I think about that day now I think how did I NOT jump up and down for joy?! How did I NOT break down in tears full of praise?! I’ll tell you why, it’s because I was still battling things of the flesh. Let’s be honest, sin will always be around but we must try our very best to remain focused on the one that truly matters, our God. I remember crying out thinking Michael wasn’t attracted to me, that there had to be another woman. How foolish

Michael was trying to take our relationship to another level, one that was pleasing to God and one that would lead to a healthy marriage one day. I challenged him; we fought about NOT having sex as if we were a married couple. Let me rephrase that, I fought about us not having sex like I was a married woman. When I think about what Michael did for OUR future marriage, it just gives me chills. I love me some him and I want to shout it to the WORLD! Ladies when a man loves you so much that he’s willing to respect your body and feed you spiritually….THAT’S a man. That’s a man that will lead a household the way God intended it to be. Stop laying in bed and giving your body to these little boys who don’t respect you and all they want is your body.

{He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the lord.} Proverbs 18:22

So remember, the next time you want to feed your flesh and have sex outside of marriage remember that leads to STD’S, AIDS, risk of being a single parent which then leads to generational curses, broken hearts and promises, giving your body away, and it sure doesn’t lead to marriage! It’s never too late to become celibate, or to make a vow to remain abstinent, start NOW.

Love,

Mrs. Luster